Social Distancing Doesn’t Mean Social Isolation

As a struggling ambivert, I often teeter between the desire to be completely surrounded by people and the desire for people to leave me the absolute f* alone.

It’s a delicate balance sometimes, because being around people for too long often makes me want to crawl into a blanket-cocoon, while other times I become practically sick with loneliness.

So when the news erupted over the spread of the coronavirus and the necessity to practice “social distancing”, I wasn’t exactly celebrating with the introverts nor was I sobbing with the extroverts.

But, being told that you HAVE to distance yourself from in-person interactions is very different from taking a voluntary social hiatus.

For many of us, this call to practice social distancing feels rather claustrophobic. It might be fear-inducing (in addition to the fear already wrapped up in the virus itself). It might conjure up images of us, sad and alone, hugging our knees and rocking back and forth in the corner.

Even though it’s only been a few days (for most of us — sorry, Italy), for those who are extravertally-inclined, it can seem like a nightmare to be confined to our homes for an indefinite length of time.

Even for introverts, there might be some paranoia around “How long will this actually last?” or whether we have enough books or cats to keep us company for weeks.

Basically, we all need tools for how to navigate this situation without growing numb with boredom, sick with loneliness, or antsy with anxiety.

That’s why I think it’s worth talking about the need for social distancing without social isolation.

This Virus Thing, Not So Fun

Whether you believe the coronavirus pandemic is an elaborate hoax, a global catastrophe, or a media fabrication (or, maybe the Illuminati?) doesn’t quite matter as countries and states are making social distancing mandatory.

In the US, the call for social distancing is still spotty; in other places, it’s practically a crime to leave your home.

So no matter where you are in the world, chances are, you aren’t having a great time when it comes to this whole virus thing.

The reality is that lives are being lost and it’s becoming more important to consider how we all exist in this world together; that our choices affect others. There is at least some degree of social responsibility, whether that means washing your hands more, not booking that flight, not sneezing into someone’s face, etc.

Obviously, more extreme measures are being taken, so people are being called to physically distance themselves from other people — even to the point of hardly leaving their homes at all.

And it’s here that we find ourselves facing the possibility of prolonged isolation and uncertainty.

So, Like, What Do We Do?

Depending on who you are and what your preference is in terms of having people all up in your business or leaving you the f* alone, there are things you can do to stay in contact with humans (or aliens, whatever) so you don’t feel utterly alone.

This is more of a thing for extroverts, but my hunch tells me that there might be some introverts who aren’t so sure they can hold up after several weeks in captivity.

So, let’s talk practical steps to preventing social isolation and keeping our sanity.

1. Talk Out Your Stress

This situation is stressful for most of us. The idea of a virus spreading across the world. The possibility that this is just a crazy political ploy. Arguing with people on Facebook. Pick your poison.

We need healthy ways to release stress without attacking other people or making ourselves sick.

One way is to talk about where your head is at with people you feel safe with. I myself have had a few vent sessions over the past couple of days. It helps you feel not-so-loco and that we are all, somehow, in this together.

Plus, it’s easy to feel like we exist in our own little bubble, especially if we are inclined to shut out the world. You don’t have to process this sh*t on your own. There are many of us in the same boat who can lend a listening ear.

2. Get Outside, If You Can

Now, not alllll of us have this luxury anymore. If you are on literal lockdown then, damn, I feel for you — really. But if you do have the opportunity to get outside and get some fresh air, do it.

I just did this today, in fact. I guess I initially had this fear that all these virus particulars are floating through the air, but that’s just not true. Some exercise (a walk) and fresh air lifted my spirits right away.

Plus, you’ll get a reminder that some life is going on as usual. The sun is still shining, the birds don’t give a f*, and there are likely other people out and about as well.

There is life outside of your mobile phone and computer screen. Turn off the news for 10 minutes and breathe it in.

3. Pick Up a New (Remote) Hobby

A few weeks ago I started learning Spanish. And, with that, I got myself a remote tutor in Colombia to speak to me in Spanish.

Venting with her in Spanglish the other day was cathartic. Again, I didn’t feel so alone in the world and it was nice to talk to someone who wasn’t absolutely panicking.

Now, you don’t have to get some sort of virtual hobby buddy to start learning new things online, but if you get the chance to take a course, join a new Facebook group, attend a virtual conference, etc., it can be a good way to connect with others.

You’ll find tons of other people trying to keep their minds and hands (keep your mind out of the gutter) busy by picking up new hobbies online. Find your people, learn a new skill, and set goals for yourself to stay preoccupied.

4. Set Up a Conference Call with New or Old Friends

The other day my friend posted a video on her Facebook story talking about how she was literally sick at home and quarantined for two weeks. My first thought was, Girl, we need to have a group call!

For us semi-social to social butterflies, the chance to chat with friends can be a huge relief if we have felt lonely for days. Some of us just need that outlet to laugh, cry, shoot the sh*t, and feel normalish.

You can use free tools like Zoom or Google Hangouts to schedule calls with friends, likeminded people you find online, etc. Wine not required, but encouraged.

5. Meditate. Really.

Meditation is just one of those things that seem corny AF for a lot of people. I get it. Admittedly, I don’t do it that often because I judge myself harshly for not “getting it right”.

But when it works, it works. For me, it helps me calm my mind, stay present, and not think about all the craziness around me.

If you find yourself going down these mental rabbit holes of “What if this goes on forever?” or “What if the world ends?” or “What if I run out of toilet paper?”, Stop. Take a breath. Bring your mind to the present place and time.

I like to use an app called Headspace to distract me from my regularly hectic thoughts. You can find meditations, sleep stories, calming sounds, etc. It’s pretty dope.

Meditation can calm the paranoia, reminding you that everything will be OK and that there ARE ways for you to reach out to others if you need to. Step out of the anxiety and think about what steps you can take to not feel so alone during this social distancing madness.

Don’t Be Afraid to Reach Out. We Are In This.

Isolation and loneliness can hit different for different people. If you are prone to anxiety and/or depression, being alone can feel really scary. But know that there are ways to reach out to real people who will really listen to you. You are not without options, even if you feel like you are in a black hole. (Read: My Story on Battling Depression)

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1–800–273–8255

Affordable Online Counseling: https://www.betterhelp.com/

Got questions/thoughts about this topic? Let me know in the comments below.